McGregor Says: Getting ready for the cleaners

I needed my carpets and my air ducts cleaned.

The man on the TV said it was important for my health to have these items taken care of and if you see it on TV it must be the right thing to do.

I looked around at my carpets and there was evidence of ‘high traffic areas’ including the main road and the off ramps that lead to the bathroom and the kitchen and the rest area around my coffee table.

According to the TV guy, vacuuming once a week is not carpet cleaning and most of us do it too fast and leave the heavier particles behind.

Nobody makes a ride-on vacuum cleaner but if they did, men would use them more regularly, even tweaking the power to get more suction.

I don’t know when the last time my furnace ducts were cleaned, but apparently if they aren’t done every three to five years, the air inside our homes is worse that the air outside.

There is a gross suggestion that the network of pipes can be a small city, home to many types of bacteria, mould, and dust.

The appointments were made and the people were coming over to give me quotes and estimates on some minor renovations.

This meant I had to clean my house.

Two hours later, my house is cleaner than it has been all summer. I even took the pile of clothes from the bed in the spare room and either hung them up or stuffed them in the washer.

My tub and toilet and sink are gleaming and the kitchen floor has a bit of a shine.

I live in a toxic jungle every day and yet I clean it for someone who will be in here for 15 minutes.

When mom was still in her townhouse, we arranged for a cleaner to come in on Wednesdays to make her life easier.

On Tuesday afternoon, mom would spend some time, ‘getting the house ready for the cleaner.’

The Wednesday session for the cleaner was more of a tea party and conversation with mom than a cleaning date.

We can drive around for days in our vehicles with stuff sliding off the seats or food wrappers and paper on the floor, ignoring the mess.

Then for some reason we have to give someone a ride so now we have to clean up the garbage, vacuum the floor, wipe down the dash board and clean the car windows.

We seem to think this frantic 30-minute detailing will give our passenger the impression that we drive around like this all the time and make them feel guilty about how dirty their cars are.

Nobody likes to clean, maybe the secret is to invite someone over every day. Normally, if I get the urge, I watch an episode of Hoarders and then I don’t feel so bad.

Personally, I think a clean house is a sign of a broken computer.

At least that’s what McGregor says.

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