Plenty of Tactical Assault Weapons out there

Some politicians will be coming up with more feel-good legislation.

Editor: Re: Letter to editor from Alex Lornie (The Times, Jan. 17), requesting a Canada-wide registry of boxcutter-type knives.

He wrote: “I encourage everyone to write their MP and demand, at the minimum, a large RCMP bureaucracy for coast-to-coast registry of these weapons . . . which limits the capacity of the handle to two disposable blades with the blades required to be stored seperately from the handles.”

Lornie could be presenting this as a facetious jest, but he almost sounds sincere. With the end to the long gun registry boondoggle after over $2 billion were wasted, and the way some of the media reports suggested it should be brought back, can one be sure if Lornie was serious or attempting to poke fun?

Already some politicians, after reading Lornie’s letter, are commissioning studies on how to draft such feel-good legislation, so we can be hailed as world leaders.

But why stop the Nanny State from eliminating our freedoms there. Let’s have a positive, more inclusive omnibus bill. There is a much larger list of TAWs — Tactical Assault Weapons — that need to come under a national registry. There are:

* TAS — Tactical Assault Sticks.  I have to plead guilty on that one, as I haven’t been locking them up in a cabinet and my grandkids sometimes play with them. I keep a (store-bought) spare one under my bed, which closely resembles the shape of a baseball bat.

* TFAS — Tactical Forked Assault Stick. I inherited mine from my Dad, who used it to pitch hay and protect himself from the wolves and bears. I hope nobody accidently pricks themselves while snooping around under my bed.

* BOTS — Break Off Tactical Sticks, known as the wood pencil.

* KDTAWs —  My wife is going to have to ’fess up with all those kitchen drawer tactical assault weapons. You could carve a turkey with some of those.

* CAWs — Campfire Assault Weapons, which include axes, barbecue lighters, marshmallow and kabob skewers and steel tent pole spears.

* BOOTS — We will have to register our shoes. Didn’t some delinquents boot someone to death in downtown Langley in the last few years?

* FPTAT —  Fireplace Tactical Assault Tools. You could do some serious damage, especially with the poker.

* GTAT’s — Garden Tactical Assault Tools. Can you imagine what a four-pronged spade could do? Don’t even look in my workshop.

* ATAR — Airborne Tactical Assault Rocks. Radical weapons of convenience at not-so-peaceful protests.

* VAW — Vehicle Assault Weapon. Oh wait, those are already registered, so how’s that statistically working out lately?

OK, stop. I get the picture.

Roland Seguin,

Langley

Just Posted

VIDEO: Erikson’s Daylily Gardens and Perennials holds annual open house

Pam and Tom Erikson have 17th annual charitable fundraiser at their private Langley garden

VIDEO: Open-to-all sprinter event for dogs comes to Langley

The second event of its kind in Canada since new rules were implemented

VIDEO: Riding against MS in Langley

MS Bike — Fraser Valley Experience collects more than $140,000

VIDEO: Langley City legendary water fight was a soaking good time

And perfectly timed for a hot weather warning

REPLAY: B.C.’s best video this week

In case you missed it, here’s a look at replay-worthy highlights from across the province this week

Former NHL goalie Ray Emery drowns in Lake Ontario

Police say the 35-year-old’s death appears to be a ‘case of misadventure’

Air quality statement warns of smoky air for Kamloops area

Environment ministry says area on north side of Thompson River may be affected by wildfire smoke

Pussy Riot claims on-field protest at World Cup final

Russian protest group claimed responsibility after four people ran onto field in police uniforms

Fans party on Montreal streets after French World Cup win

To city is home to nearly 57,000 French nationals

SilverStar officially opens Gondola

The brand-new gondola is now offering scenic rides for visitors on SilverStar Mountain Resort.

VIDEO: Man climbs crane in Abbotsford

Police, fire called to deal with climber last night

B.C. VIEWS: Making private health care illegal again

Adrian Dix battles to maintain Cuba-style medical monopoly

Almost every part of Canada’s largest national park deteriorating: federal study

Drawing on decades of research — the report lists 50 pages of citations

Most Read